EPISODE 1: MY DICK IS THE SIZE OF A BASEBALL FIELD
Sept 4, 2015 6:23:32 GMT
via mobile
Host JFP, Host Wes, and 4 more like this
Post by danlembo on Sept 4, 2015 6:23:32 GMT
Of course I get put on this tribe. I think it's pretty clear that I am the complete package. Not only am I a national hero, I was able to raise a criminal empire while I was I'm a coma. This is amateur hour.
So far, I've asked three people or so if I can shove a wad of hundreds up their assholes. So far, no takers. It's really disheartening hearing how people aren't as sexually adventurous anymore. Asking around though, it seems like at least half of the women on the cast would be willing to take a ride on The Lemboghini. For the record, that's what I call my dick.
Jon asked why I'm trolling, and he basically signed his death warrant. How dare he question me. I can have his body filled with rocks and at the bottom of the Hudson before he can even open his eyes to scan his surroundings. I am the fucking law.
Andrea got mad when I said she was too easy, I'm not sure why she's upset with facts. Grow up and move on.
Jeff at least gets it. I don't like him, but he doesn't question me. He praises me. That's what I need.
Michelle is boring as fuck to talk to. She's the social equivalent of a yes man. Only she's got smaller tits and less charisma.
People try to hide their true identities at this stage in the game. They should be embracing it. They should take note of the Lembo and follow in my footsteps and just be themselves. I can't imagine doing anything else at this point.
That's it for now. Lembo out.
...
(In all seriousness, if you guys couldn't figure it out, practically nothing I've said should be taken seriously. And in all seriousness, I had a good talk with Ami out of character, and there's a natural chemistry there that I want to follow for as long as possible. I just genuinely enjoy her.)
So far, I've asked three people or so if I can shove a wad of hundreds up their assholes. So far, no takers. It's really disheartening hearing how people aren't as sexually adventurous anymore. Asking around though, it seems like at least half of the women on the cast would be willing to take a ride on The Lemboghini. For the record, that's what I call my dick.
Jon asked why I'm trolling, and he basically signed his death warrant. How dare he question me. I can have his body filled with rocks and at the bottom of the Hudson before he can even open his eyes to scan his surroundings. I am the fucking law.
Andrea got mad when I said she was too easy, I'm not sure why she's upset with facts. Grow up and move on.
Jeff at least gets it. I don't like him, but he doesn't question me. He praises me. That's what I need.
Michelle is boring as fuck to talk to. She's the social equivalent of a yes man. Only she's got smaller tits and less charisma.
People try to hide their true identities at this stage in the game. They should be embracing it. They should take note of the Lembo and follow in my footsteps and just be themselves. I can't imagine doing anything else at this point.
That's it for now. Lembo out.
...
(In all seriousness, if you guys couldn't figure it out, practically nothing I've said should be taken seriously. And in all seriousness, I had a good talk with Ami out of character, and there's a natural chemistry there that I want to follow for as long as possible. I just genuinely enjoy her.)
